Simply Unattached

Admit it; we're labeled just because we're females, the cute and delicate sex, daughters of Eve- just because we're Women...
"STOP! Spare me, is this another Feminist speech? Because if it is, then please don't waste my time."
"But you haven't heard the rest of it yet!"
"Well, as we specifically requested in the ad, we are looking for a host for our new show with an unbiased point of view and it seemed from your speech that..."
"That what? I am a feminist?"
"Well this is the impression I got, unless..."
"If you had given me the chance to finish, you would have found out that it's a simple piece about Women's problems and just because I used the word "labeled" it doesn't mean that I'm biased, I am simply stating a point of fact; how women are viewed by their society."
"Ok ok, but could you please cut to the chase with the point you're trying to make here?"
"Alright! When was the last time someone asked you, 'Why are you still single?'"
"Hmm... It's hard to tell because for guys this question is simply not on the menu."
"Exactly! But for girls it is a given!"
"Right, I suppose it is only normal."
"Normal?! Why? Because we are girls?"
"Apparently in our society and even western societies the more focus these days is on the marital status of women and the fact that a lot of them are single raises many eyebrows or so to speak."
"Hah! Is this another Feminist speech? This is my point exactly, why is this fact of being Single or not boggles people so much? Why is the focus always on women and not men? Is it because we are the bearer of children and once we hit the 30's queue of bystanders we become expired or unwanted in the market???"
"You are being too judgmental, it is just how people are and have always been since the beginning of time!"
"So does this ideology of yours make it okay for people to label single women in such a term?! Why does it have to be Single anyway? Why not ‘not-taken’, ‘unmarried’, or rather ‘free’?"
"Because it is not natural, if you are single then you are lonely and that is that!"
"Allow me to prove you wrong, sir. Just because I am Single doesn't condemn me to be lonely. In fact, many married women claim to be lonely all the time because their husbands give them no care or are partially in a state of "hibernation".
It is how you use this term in your life that defines you; you could be Single but content; loneliness has no place in your dictionary, you refuse to be judged as a half being waiting to be completed by another, your life is not on hold until this person comes with his wand to achieve all your dreams. This is how society likes to define single-hood because it refuses to not abide by the laws of nature that for every woman there is a man and not the other way around. And so I refuse the term Single, Lonely, Solitary, Loner, Isolated, etc. and any other synonym a dictionary includes."
"So what do you prefer to be called?"
"Simply Unattached."

This is a simple message to all the single ladies; you are not alone, you are not unwanted or unsought, you are not expired or a spinster and if you stand by to allow others to call you that, then you should only blame yourself. If your mother taught you that you will never be considered worthy of respect or admiration unless you are married, it is because she has been drilled with the same concept by her mother and her grandmother back to the age of ‘Si El-Sayed’[1].

People should stop trying to define women as a half person, obviously we don't need another half to complete us. God has created us whole and complete. I am neither Cinderella nor Sleeping Beauty waiting for a prince to come and wake me up from my misery.

---

[1] Si El-Sayed= A term created by a sadistic male figure. The word ‘Si’ has ancient Egyptian roots and used nowadays in  Egyptian colloquial Arabic. Unfortunately the term denotes false claims of glorification to the male figure and sadly enough has gotten more than it deserves of appeal from attention-seekers, i.e. men who never received love or care as infants from their mothers.

مسكينة هي المرأة

An article taken from Al-Ahram Newspaper

د. وحيد عبدالمجيد

هذا مجتمع يستدعى المرأة عند الحاجة، ويصرفها عندما لا يحتاج إليها, ويتحرش بها بعض أفراده تعويضا عن شعورهم بعدم حاجة المجتمع اليهم وتهميشهم. إنه المجتمع الذكورى الذى يقوم على تقاليد لا صلة لها بالعصر، ولا بالأديان أيضاً. تضع هذه التقاليد المرأة فى مرتبة أدنى فى الأغلب الأعم. ولذلك لا تلقى المرأة ترحيباً فى ظل هذه التقاليد إلا عند الضرورة.
وهذا هو ما حدث فى الانتخابات الرئاسية التى أنقذتها المرأة المصرية فعلياً وفق المؤشرات الأولية لمعدلات تصويت الفئات الاجتماعية المختلفة. فلا يكون المجتمع الذكورى مستعداً للتسامح مع حضور قوى للمرأة يقترن بتحرر لحظى من تقاليده المتخلفة إلا عند الحاجة أيضاً. ولذلك لم ينزعج المجتمع الذكورى من تعبير نساء عن فرحتهن بالغناء والرقص أمام بعض لجان الاقتراع طالما أنه فى حاجة إلى ذلك.
وليست هذه هى المرة الأولى التى يحتفى فيها المجتمع الذكورى بحضور المرأة فى المجال العام بسبب شدة حاجته إلى هذا الحضور. فقد حدث مثل ذلك فى الاستفتاء على الدستور الحالى فى يناير الماضى. وقد أقبلت المرأة على المشاركة بكثافة فى الانتخابات الرئاسية لأن آمالها مازالت قائمة فى مساواة فعلية فى كل وقت وليس فقط عند الحاجة اليها. لم يصبها الإحباط الذى نال الكثير من الشباب رغم أنها لم تنل بعد الحقوق المتساوية التى نص عليها الدستور الجديد.
ومع ذلك أقبلت على الانتخابات الرئاسية أملاً فى أن يبدأ تفعيل هذا الدستور بعدها، واعتقاداً فى أن الاضطراب الذى حدث فى الشهور التى مضت منذ إقراره هو الذى تسبب فى تجميده.
وأول ما تنتظره المرأة المصرية، التى تعتبر مسكينة حتى عند مقارنتها بالنساء حتى فى بعض البلاد العربية، هو أن تكون مواطنة كاملة المواطنة يحترم المجتمع حقوقها الشخصية كما السياسية والمدنية طول الوقت، وليس فقط عندما يحتاج إليها الرجال سواء فى الحياة الخاصة أو فى المجال العام.ومن هذه الحقوق حمايتها من العنف الذى تتعرض له.
وهذا هو ما نص عليه الدستور المعطل فعليا حتى الآن, والذىمازالت المرأة تأمل فى تفعيله بدءا بالانتخابات النيابية التى نستكمل غدا التفكير فى موقع المرأة فيها.

                                                 Enough said?

HOW BLIND ARE YOU?

How would you feel, if you found out that your senses have been deceiving you? You see but you don’t really see, you feel but you don’t really feel, you hear but you don’t really hear… Your eyes, which are supposed to be the window from which you look at and perceive the world around you are actually blind. Your heart, which is the source of your life, doesn’t feel others’ pains, and your ears, which is the open door for listening to others’ problems, has been shut in their faces for a long time. Basically your bodily senses have been inactive for a long time, they’ve literally died but you just don’t know as you feel that they’ve been practically functioning very well and doing their job.

Is this really true? Do you actually “see” what’s happening around you? Do you really “feel” what others are going through or the world is only revolving around you while you’re standing still watching like an idle spectator? Can you feel what those close to you have been trying to tell you for so long, but your ears have voluntarily shut its doors?

If the answer to the all of these questions is “Yes”, then you need to stop for a while and think carefully about how blind you are! You’ve been deluded, my dear friend, by thinking that what you see, feel, and hear is part of reality’s magnifying lens. You don’t really want to listen to the problems surrounding you anymore as if you’ve decided to take an early retirement from your life, but did you really think that this is the solution? You no longer want to feel how or what people feel, you don’t want to be part of their lives or contribute to it by any means.

It’s only you that life revolves around; your thoughts, your feelings, your problems, you… you… you, and only you. Unfortunately the 21st century has been an advocate to the ideology and philosophy of Individualism and selfishness. If we look over and study this concept, we’ll find how far society has succeeded in turning people into robotic creatures designed to live for themselves, secluded from others, they just take orders and execute them. Materialism is the spirit of this new age, we’re the ones who keep going through circles. We keep thinking only about ourselves, our benefits, and well-being. We’ve forgotten that other people also exist in our lives.

You ask yourself, “But what’s in it for me?” But why does there have to be anything in it for you? What about others, don’t they deserve to have something from you only for the sake of doing something good for others to remember you with? Can’t we do anything for just the sake of Allah (SWT) anymore?

Our beloved Prophet (PBUH), the walking Qur’an, has answered this question for us in his hadith when he said, “None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother that which he loves for himself.” He also said, “Truly the faithful are to one another like components of a building, each part supports the other.” (BUKHARI and MUSLIM)

So where are we from these beautiful and meaningful notions? Would you truly feel the love for your brother/sister if you found him/her in a better position than you? Would you wish for your friend or sister all the happiness of this world and the next, if she got married before you? Wouldn’t you hope, instead, for them to lose what they have for you so that you wouldn’t feel inferior or incomplete?

Let’s be honest, none of us truly loves for his brother what he loves for himself and I won’t say it’s because of a lack of faith or love for your brother, it’s just because you love yourself more and this is the nature of human beings. But Islam came to teach is that humanity could be developed and reformed for the sake of a higher purpose. If we keep in mind that we’re not here in this life to collect but rather to give away what we have for Allah’s sake, we’ll start to understand the meaning of loving something for others’ sake.

How beautiful is the hadith when our beloved Prophet (PBUH) describes to us people who truly love each other unconditionally to the extent that if one of them complained, the other would cry for him, “The faithful are like a single body: If his eye suffers, then his constitution will suffer, and if he has a headache, then his whole system will suffer.” (MUSLIM)

Finally, I’d like to leave you with a question, if I suffered, would you truly suffer for me?

This article was also featured on Zumaran

A Woman is just a woman?!

"What can't be cured must be endured." - Ahmed Nemr

It amazes me how this quote, strictly held by one of my esteemed colleagues, Mr. Ahmed Nemr, relates to the question I'm about to address in my humble note. As I was watching the movie, The Open Door, starring Fatin Hamamah and Saleh Selim, I was hit by a striking question many of you might have had it cross their minds but not really answered yet! I'll come by this question shortly but let me first tell you the story of Layla, the heroine of our movie. The movie is based on a novel originally written by Professor Latifah Az-zayat who holds a PHD in English Literature. It tells the story of Layla (Fatin Hamamah) who came from a middle-class family; a normal every-day mother, a kind helpless brother, and an uptight father who always treated her like an epidemic that needed control or eradication. She fell in love with her cousin (Hassan Youssif) who eventually turned out to be a mere figure of everything her father stood for and so she got her heart broken and lost hope in finding herself. Later on, she met her brother's friend, Hussein (Saleh Selim) who fell in love with her and tried to show her that life is still full of hope. He tried to teach her about finding her own voice in a male-dominant society and to never give up on fighting for what she believed in the face of hardships.

I bet you're asking yourself now, so what? Aside from the fact that this movie was produced in 1963 and we're now opening a new leaf in 2014, it was and has always been and apparently and unfortunately will always be held that a woman is just a woman, which brings me to the question of the hour; why are we perceived as women and not human beings? Why is it that every time a voice of a self-made choice is uttered by one of "our kind" is faced with blames, questions, distrust, and fighting? And why the hell are we still discussing such ideas of feminism and women as separate beings until this day???

If you have the answer to this never-ending quest for truth, please leave your comments below.

Thank you for reading.

A Frustrated Human Being, not woman, just me!

Letters To God: Crumbs of Hope

Dear God;
I've failed You again, would You forgive me?
I've let You down again, would You hold on to me?
I've distrusted You again, would You not give up on me?
How many times have I lied to You and yet You keep on giving me a second chance, how many times have I broke my ties with You and yet You continue to deliver me from the pitfalls of darkness to the shadows of light, how many times have I lost faith in You and yet You grow Your faith in me???
How or why do You still love me, give me, and provide for me after all I've done... After what I've done???
Do I really deserve Your Mercy?
Do I deserve Your Love?
Do I deserve Your Graciousness?
Do I deserve Your Trust?
All the doors are closed around me and I'm tied down on my knees, cannot get up to knock!!!
Will You take my hand and give me the strength to knock? Will You answer my weak shivering sighs, lest I might be saved or forgiven?
I need an answer, a glimpse of light, a breath of air to hold my soul in place and not despair...
I need a safe abode to open my eyes once again and see Your light, shining through me and for me, drawing me close to You, guiding my way to You and only You!!! I need no one else but You. I need to cling to my crumbs of hope until the last breath I take, the last heart beat, the last pulse of time... I need what I need in that need of the need to You, so Dear God, take me back to You.

                                                                       

The more you lie, the more you die!

The more you lie, the more you die!
The more you lose yourself and scar your soul; you start by bluring the identity of the truth, you draw excuses, and become submissive to your deceptive mouth.
"What's your name?"
"My name is Falsity!"
It becomes your state of nature: you wake up, eat, drink, breathe, feel falsehoods and lies- and don't worry- it's just the beginning of your end!
Even your own life becomes a lie, and you no longer are familiar with what's really true and what's not!
"Our remedies oft in ourselves do lie." ---William Shakespeare
"One of the most striking differences between a cat and lie is that a cat has only Nine lives." ---- Mark Twain
Now tell me who you are now, or have you forgotten your real self?!

 This article has been also featured on OnIslam.net

On The Mini-Bus

Based on a true story!

Time: 11 P.M
Location: Typical Egyptian traffic-jammed street, with people queued in a zig zag row staring at me!!!


“OMG! How on earth am I going to get home at this hour?!” I mumbled to myself as I was waiting patientlessly for the mini-bus. Minutes passed like hours and finally the hand of aid came to pull me out of the crammed streets. I jumped on, was grabbed by the stuffed standing people, dangling from the windows and the door of the mini-bus, of course, not to my surprise! The driver whispered to me as I was squeezed in between the crowd, “Come here, sit next to me on the tableau missy!!” I was flattered to sit next to the driver, imagine that!
“What an honour!” I thought to myself sarcastically. “Me, sitting, oh that’s but a dream for every Egyptian mini-bus passenger!”
He drove like the wind, stopping for people in every bus stop, and people just kept jumping like bees in a bee hive trying to squeeze themselves in. “Isn’t this bus fully loaded or I am just hallucinating?!” I mean is there a limit for passengers, isn’t this driver going to say, “Enough!” ever?!!
There was technically no more space to fit in more heads or even hands. People were either suffocating or turning into smoked fish due to the fact that they were stuffed like tuna fish in a can.
An hour passed, and I was still sitting, laughing inside of sympathy for those helpless creatures that were waiting just like me to get home safely. Then I heard some creaking. A guy standing next to me couldn’t help himself from worrying, he leaned on the driver and said, “Excuse me! What is that sound?” the driver laughed and answered, “Don’t worry. If I was sure that it’s dangerous to drive this vehicle, I wouldn’t risk the passengers’ lives”.
“Yeah, right! As if you care!” I thought to myself, “I hope your engine is listening”. Finally I was approaching my home, and I was surprisingly relieved that I’m still breathing and didn’t pass out or anything due to lack of O2. The bus stopped, I tried to make my way out through and kept saying, “Excuse me, excuse me, I want to pass please!” I finally jumped off, sighed the relief of getting safely home, my home sweet home was waiting for me with bells of joy ringing!!

Heads Up: For those who haven’t had the pleasure and excitement of riding on a fabulous journey by the mini-bus before, should know that for a Girl to arrive home without either, having taken a shower of passengers’ sweat or pushed off the door, is a mission impossible but luckily accomplished!!!